I would have done this way sooner

Lydia S. shared the story of her transformational weight loss journey with us.

I had already grieved.

Grieved what I thought I couldn’t achieve. Grieved the clothes I couldn’t wear. Grieved the spaces I couldn’t fit in…and the ones I could but didn’t want me.

I loved myself. But I also hated it. I was at odds. I learned to let go of what I couldn’t control…and fight like hell for what I could.

I dusted myself off. I healed. I took my time. I did the work. And now…I’m here.

110lb released forever.

The excitement has died down. Life has become normal. The weight loss has slowed. But oh how incredibly proud I am of trusting myself again and again. Dusting myself off after every failure and whispering — we aren’t done yet.

My job was a huge why. One day, I was at a house call. The owner had locked their cat in a safe room for me to examine. The cat had hidden under the bed. A bed which, I couldn’t fit under. The second call was to a similar situation except in a closet. A closet I couldn’t move around in. A floor I couldn’t kneel on. A space I didn’t fit. Again and again. I never wanted to feel that way again.

These scrubs are my armor for the day. And a reminder of how far I’ve come. I never thought I would fit in these scrubs again. They were far too small.

Now, like the spaces I fit in, are far too big.

💖 keep going. Love ya.

Tell us a little about your story.

I had struggled with my weight from as early as 2 years old. I had tried every diet out there with minimal success throughout my life. I had never spent a single moment of my life not overweight or in a much larger body than my peers.

I felt so uncomfortable, yet hadn’t known any different. I dreamed of waking up one day with the ease of living in a smaller body, where I didn’t have to wear the struggle on the outside.

I hit my all time low with food and my body image in 2020, where I was referred to an out patient therapy program for disordered eating. After spending 10 months in this program, I had a new lease on life. I felt free from food, diet culture, and felt like I truly knew my body.

After this work, I gained even more weight and hit a new “set point.” This was secondary to the restriction and the damage that had been done through years of weight cycling.

I hit my all time heaviest weight and maintained it for several years.

After several years at over 300lb, the toll of living all of my life obese caught up with me. I knew that not all health conditions are caused by weight and, therefore, not all would be resolved by losing it. However, I felt for me, the health conditions that were creeping up were secondary to the weight I had put on.

Even though I was happy with my relationship with food, I felt like a prisoner in my body. I wanted to feel as free in life on the outside as I felt on the inside. However, I was unwilling to crash diet, cleanse, or be miserable for the rest of my life.

I started doing some research. The first time I started looking into weight loss surgery…I shut my computer down and cried. How could I be so desperate as to permanently alter my body? Was this too drastic? Would I be expected to do this AND crash diet? How could I do this to my body that had done so much to keep me safe?

After tons more research, time spent combing through the instagram community, and finally meeting with Dr. Brown, I knew this was the option for me. I knew this would be my last shot to finally have freedom — to eat nutritious food, to lift heavy stuff, to travel the world, and to no longer be held back by my body. A body that I loved, that gave me so much…it was my turn to give it what it needed in return, a fresh start.

I had weight loss surgery on May 13, 2024.

It was life giving, life changing, and I have no regrets. I live a fully balanced life that has only gotten richer. Most importantly, I was able to do it with love for my body then and my body now. I am forever grateful for this tool!

What motivated you to have weight loss surgery?

I had been at war with my body my entire life. I was obese starting from the age of 2. After struggling with my relationship with food, I sought out help. After a life saving journey of food therapy, I had repaired some of the damage that had been done. However, with that, came even more weight gain and the threat of more health issues. I didn’t know how I was going to take care of myself while also preserving my relationship with food and my body. I knew surgery would be the help I needed to be able to eat nutrient dense food, move my body in ways that felt good, but be able to shed the pounds weighing me down in so many ways.

What were your concerns prior to surgery?

I was concerned about vitamin deficiencies, complications, and permanently altering my body without anything changing. I was worried about being sucked back into dangerous eating patterns and restriction. None of these things happened. If I hadn’t let these fears hold me back, I would have done this way sooner.

What have you found challenging after surgery?

I spent a lot of time learning my body before surgery. I had to redo a lot of this work after because my body is much different, but it was easier the second time around. I did have to learn to give myself grace, how to be consistent, and how to say no. These things were really difficult lessons to learn but I am overall a better person for them.

What are some of your off-scale wins since surgery?

Sooo many. Is there a text limit on this? :P. BIGGEST things — not being out of breath, not being sweaty all of the time, fitting in a plane seat without a seatbelt extender (traveling had become unaffordable because I needed 2 plane seats), being able to fit in any chair, not worrying about fitting or exceeding a weight limit, fitting in clothes way easier, enjoying hiking/access to nature, getting on and off the ground super easily, normal labwork, normal blood pressure.